someonecalledmefamous: mu5icliz: germansam: tokyosluts: Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation It’s like being dead without the commitment. an open relationship with death death with benefits
orelpuppington: IMPORTANT NEWS: “PIZZA ROLLS” IS THE PERFECT NUMBER OF LETTERS FOR KNUCKLE TATTOOS
marielikestodraw: pahnem: mercuriesrising: aparticularlygoodfinder: Go to Starbucks. Order coffee for “Prisoner 24601” When they call out your order, jump up and yell “My name is Jean Valjean!” And if the barista replies with “AND I’M JAVERT,” you tip that motherfucker so hard you tip them right over the edge of a bridge you fucking didn’t oh my god.
hannibalthecanibal: and here we have harry potter literally standing on a pile of letters to try and catch one that is still in the air. there are clearly reasons why he doesn’t get sorted into ravenclaw
zombles: Life lesson never pick a favourite character because they will die
callmekitto: internetfeet: People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here” And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone” THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.
defence-stat: silcoon: metapod: cascoon: *harden* *harden* *harden* I am so high right now
gatzzby: hannahsneakers: why don’t they have big hyped up award shows for books i mean best male/female character best antagonist best plot development best plot twist come on #book you threw across the room the hardest
archeops: watching anime is literally the easiest thing ever and yet i even put that off
cancerously: chatwithjack: thelumpster: ...
attains: attains: if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
growlithed: protip if someone is drawing or whatever dont fuck them up in any way shape or form just for laughs dont “finish someones drawing” if they leave it unattended dont scribble across the page or the picture dont ruin their progress because itll “be funny” youre an asshole
the-laughing-cactus: jaclcfrost: if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
thenerdfighterkid: slydig: tsarbucks: slydig: dont be mean be median or mode damn math fandom bloggers shut up we have a good range of jokes
revivingpeeta: tumblr ruined my life but made it better somehow
queeflto: everything cool i do is on accident
ambassador-of-anguish: shouldertappingghosts: If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate...
christoph-waltzed: I remember in year 2 there was a girl who had literally never had a haircut so her hair was ridiculously long [imagine Rapunzel basically] and she always complained about it but her mum wouldn’t let her get it cut So one day at recess she put an entire pack of chewed gum in her hair at the exact length she wanted it cut to. She came in the next day with her hair cut how she...
a post about the subtitles on my harry potter vcd
jaymhensley: so i found my old vcd-copy of harry potter and the chamber of secrets and… i don’t know what’s more entertaining, the movie or the subtitles. Read More
tardisity: The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
ethanwearsprada: i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense
kankrivantas: barackalicious: jimbertimber: theres a Meme Page in the yearbook our entire yearbook is meme themed how do you think i feel a moment of silence
meladoodle: follow the yolo brick road
bedquest: dear fucking tumblr this is a fucking bumblebee this is a fucking bee this is a fucking hornet this is a fucking wasp as you can fucking see the longer their legs are and the less fuzzy they are is equivalent to how fucking evil they fucking are
nikolawashere: When you stretch and your inner porn star moan comes out by accident
ballerdollar: lessons learned from anime don’t get inside the robot people with bad haircuts always lose the cute girl is psycho the cute guy isn’t human when in doubt scream “baka” and run away glasses should be adjusted with one finger in a condescending manner gotta catch em all and maybe probably respect your elders
misandrwitch: Is This A Kink I Have Or Was This Fic just Really Well Written; an existential crisis in three acts
weedrichards: YOU KNOW THAT FEELING WHEN YOU FIND A NEW FAVORITE CHARACTER AND YOU CAN FELL YOUR SANITY SLIPPING AWAY FROM YOU AS YOUR HEART BURSTS FROM YOUR CHEST AD YOU SCREAM THEIR NAME TO THE HEAVENS
volperaptor: abcboyz: lameborghini: how are good lookin dudes always friends with other good lookin dudes is there some sort of secret hot boy gang or something Actually, psychologist have studied this and found that in all of your non-familial relationships, you are more likely to form a relationship and have it last if the other person is about the same level of attractiveness as you....
circumcisions: procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due
jaymesmcguiness: KRISPY KREME ARE GIVING OUT A FREE DOUGHNUT FOR EVERY A YOU GET ON YOUR REPORT CARD THIS HAS MOTIVATED ME MORE THAN MY TEACHERS.
kylobe: sometimes i get the urge to be really nasty and mean and say mean things and then i go to do it and i cant its like. im too soft. im not punk rock at all. i lied. i lied to you all. i lied on the internet. im not hardcore. im possibly soft grunge but thats about it